Monday evening I'll be partaking in perhaps the most significant car ride of this year. What began as a trip charted as a holiday venture to visit my über preggo sister in PA for the Christmas holiday, and then on the return swing through Ohio to visit a super close friend of Tara's suddenly became stark in nature.
Tara and I will still be couped up in her Saturn Vue for nearly 40 hours round trip (a relationship test that my mild insecurities have me needlessly worried about). There will still be books (audio and tangible) and magazines packed amongst mad libs, snacks, and various playlists loaded onto iPods. But now we're driving to Ohio first, as we received the awful news that there was a tragic loss.
While on long road trips I often unwittingly zone out amidst the road noise and soothing tones of whatever podcast or book I'm listening to. Thoughts of recent days, memories long ago, or just general reflection. The notion of the frailty and preciousness of life is readily absorbed and acknowledged, but I find often taken for granted and too easily falls to the back burner of one's mind. I don't know that I will experience this trip or be able to allow myself to not keep these concepts front and center any longer as how could they possibly be made any more apparent than by a family's loss of a child.
So many broken hearts, my Tara's included.
There are no words for a loss like this. And if there are any, I don't feel confident in my place or ability to deliver them.
But what I am confident in is my ability to love, support, and sincerely hug like no mo-fo has ever been loved, supported, or hugged before.
I'll be packing that too.
I have a hunch it just might be needed.
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