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Without question, my notable favorite read of the year was Jonathan Safran Foer’s “Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close”.  At times whimsical, melancholy, joyful, and then utterly heart breaking, this story had a significant impact on me with it’s themes of love and loss set in the aftermath of the September 11th attacks, and with significant reference to the bombings of Dresden and Hiroshima.

There is one passage in particular which takes form as a letter to the main character/9 year old boy, Oskar, from his Grandmother which says this:

“The night before I lost everything was like any other night. Anna and I kept each other awake very late. We laughed. Young sisters in a bed under the roof of their childhood home. Wind on the window. How could anything less deserve to be destroyed? I thought we would be awake all night. Awake for the rest of our lives. The spaces between our words grew. It became difficult to tell when we were talking and when we were silent. The hairs of our arms touched.It was late, and we were tired. We assumed there would be other nights. Anna’s breathing started to slow, but I still wanted to talk. She rolled onto her side. I said, I want to tell you something. She said, You can tell me tomorrow. I had never told her how much I loved her. She was my sister. We slept in the same bed. There was never a right time to say it. It was always unnecessary. The sheets were rising and falling around me with Anna’s breathing. I thought about waking her. But it was unnecessary. There would be other nights. And how can you say I love you to someone you love? I rolled onto my side and fell asleep next to her. Here is the point of everything I have been trying to tell you,

It’s always necessary.”

I usually call my mom a couple times a week on the way into work, just for the typical catch up and general conversation.  I’ve a very small and immediate family, the sort that can be a bit whacked out and hard on each other, but foundationally it’s because we love each other so intensely.  This love of course is one that is typically unspoken.

It was this book, and this passage in particular that really caused me to evaluate the familial status quo.  And for that matter any sincere expression of love within any of my very close relationships.  If it’s there, and it’s true, why let it go unspoken “just because”?

Now all phone calls with my mom end with me telling her that I love her.  I noticed it threw her off at first (though definitely not in a bad way), but she’s since taken to it, and such earnest exchange is our new status quo.

How to Join the Best of 2009 Challenge: http://www.gwenbell.com/blog/2009/11/30/the-best-of-2009-blog-challenge.html

While this is clearly not an “article” per se, it’s hands down one of the most inspiring, influential, and ass kicking messages I’ve absorbed this year, and have shared with many.

On most days, there is a lot of noise in my head regarding my current job/career thing/path.  Typically a cocktail comprised of discouragement with the present (feeling handcuffed by my paycheck to a job that doesn’t jazz me up any more, and mostly frustrates me), self doubt in my aspirations and dreams, and fear regarding my gut’s intuition to do something daring to break the cycle.

What I love about this lecture, apart from Gary Vaynerchuck’s infectious energy and straight talk, is that it’s a reminder that I need to do exactly that, but on a quasi-reasonable-still-be-able-to-pay-the-bills scale of course.  If one is living a life without true fulfillment and happiness is it really “living”?

Every moment is truly precious, so why spend them in ways that not only make you feel miserable, but aren’t playing key part in your bigger picture?  Living your passion.

I’ve been on a tear the past several weeks getting gears in motion, and am incredibly excited!  I just need to keep at overcoming those disparaging internal monologues born of fear, get back to taking chances, return to being uninhibited me.

I know it will be worth it.

How to Join the Best of 2009 Challenge: http://www.gwenbell.com/blog/2009/11/30/the-best-of-2009-blog-challenge.html

I have a tendency to tackle my posts in stages (as well as think too much, be hard on myself, and get confused in my brain), as I still work on training myself to take time to make time for focused writing sessions.  With my Posterous account I’ll submit via gmail, so I ready the draft in the morning, prep the title in the subject heading, and then will rattle off an outline in the form of a topical stream of consciousness.  The intent being to return to it later in the day when I have a momentary break and flesh out the thoughts and ideas.  But this stream I enjoy just as it is…

This particular evening was during this year’s best trip to San Francisco.  My lady took me on our first date to Foreign Cinema, and… yeah.

I’m very thankful for this best of blog challenge, as it not only provides me means of pushing through my blogging hang ups, but affords me time to reflect on some awesomely wonderful moments.

It’s been a most peculiar, frustrating, heart breaking, amazing, challenging, beautiful, redeeming, and resolute year.  I guess that means I’m living.

How to Join the Best of 2009 Challenge: http://www.gwenbell.com/blog/2009/11/30/the-best-of-2009-blog-challenge.html